Marriage
Marriage is a daily adventure!
Check out the sub pages on the right for discussion topics…The latest, 4 Tips To Get a Man To Open Up, I found on Yahoo news. The article, written by a man, is about the best time to communicate with your man. Usually I find this stuff to be a lot of fluff, but this was a great article and right on target as far as what I’ve experienced in my own relationship. Hope you like it too!
Comments
Sorry comments are closed for this entry
What’s the best advice you can give for communicating with a spouse who has very little communication skills?
I guess it really depends on is he willing to work on his communication skills. It also depends on what you are talking about wether its an argument and hes not responding, or if you are just having a conversation and you feel like you are talking to a brick wall. I would say the best thing is to just communicate your frustration and work on it together.
I have a few thoughts on that one!
This is a confidential site, right?! Really, the talking about it is huge. If they don’t know something isn’t working, how can they fix it? But, the biggest thing I took into my marriage, passsed down from my mother, was to let God do the changing. Pray that God will bring experiences or people into his life that will help him look at things differently. And then, when things do start to happen, thank him!! (god and your husband) Over and over and over and over. 
Probably the best advice I would have is two tips – don’t nag, and use “I” statements. The “I” statements have been very helpful in my own marriage so instead of saying something like “you never do such and such” I’ll say “I feel like you ___________ ” or even “I feel like we need to work on ______________ ” this takes the accusatory tone out of it and makes communication go more smoothly.
It’s hard when your spouse communicates differently from you, but I think that its important to realize that “different” doesn’t necessarily mean that they don’t communicate as well as you do. When he’s with other guys and talking about something that’s important to him, there’s often excellent communicating going on. It seems that a lot of our frustration comes from when we realize that what’s important to us often falls off their radar. There’s times where we’re both just looking for different things from conversation. I’m probably not describing this well, because words aren’t always my friend. My spouse is actually better at articulating his thoughts into concrete words than I am, they’re just usually focussed in a different direction than what I expect. Often, in disagreements, we don’t realize that we’re arguing for the same thing because we tend to take opposite routes to get to that same truth. At the end, we’re like “So why didn’t you just say … (such and such) … from the beginning?” One of the hardest things about marriage is realizing the depths of difference in how each spouse’s brains process information. I think its very important not to let each other settle into the mindset of “well, I’m just not as good at communication as you are” in either direction, because its too easy to use that as an excuse to stop trying. We both have to work hard to understand each other, and look to God to be our facilitator, or translator, at times. It just seems that its not about being better or worse, its just different. Of course, we’re kind of oddballs, though,… anyway, that’s my view on it, give or take a thought or two.
My name is Jan Mitchell-fyfe and I am a healer and writer based in Edinburgh, Scotland….!
I would say that the most beautiful partnerships are based on self awareness and love. A mature relationship will endeavour to be fully present and loving, being able to free each other emotionally is a great gift and this union of marriage and the sanctity of honour that is embedded in the sharing is a place of beauty and purity. If the two people involved can come together in harmony , creating their lives from within they can share the blessings of connection and the powerful love that is shared through oneness and being together fully, open and resourceful and marriage of hearts and deep connection………… beautiful…..!If we can remember also that our partner is a mirror of ourselves, that mirroring is about understanding those aspects of ourselves within the partnership and loving is about also loving ourselves both separately and together. We can love our individual selves more fully within a happy marriage….1